BJP Supremo L.K.Advani drove the country into utter chaos today when he called for a nationwide agitation against the German band “Rammstein”. In a statement to CKT, he said “The band has hurt the sentiments of the Hindus. They have stained our lord’s name and they’ll have to pay for this”. These allegations stirred up the customary rally which was pathetically off-colour as there were not many effigies of the band members there to be burnt. “Burnout issues” commented a frustrated party worker. 

German media reacted strongly to the allegations and the headlines read “Advani spells Disaster” and “Du Hast Advani”.

“Guess it’s the effect of the STUPEFY spell cast on the politicians” chuckled a student from Lady Shri Ram College, New Delhi who we presume is still suffering from Harry Potter withdrawal symptoms.  ”L.Advanism or Vandalism?!”  she adds, showcasing her ability to come up with anagrams that make political sense.

Advertising agencies were overjoyed by the turn of events though. An agency representative told CKT , “We can now use images of Dale Steyn, Ein-stein, Franken-stein and the likes and do detergent ads with the tagline : We even take the stain off the celebrities.” prompting the physicist’s kin to  mutter “Ein?!” in disgust. 

The government has responded strongly to this incident and has signed a MoU with Vivekananda English Training Academy (VETA) to train the politicians. A government spokesman said “We are expecting them to do what they do best. Keep the audience SPELLbound”. In a specially made video to quell the sparked Indo-German tensions, V.Rajagopalan (Chairman VETA) said “Now that this agreement has been struck, it’s time to set the agreement of the verb with the subject right”, as the video zoomed into his fingers twiddling with the inch-long chalk piece.

Order was restored in the north, but people down south known for “Being Judicially Paranoid” are investigating a possible link between the German Band and Sri Krishna Sweets, a popular sweet shop chain down south. Sources claim the opening credits of the song Du Hast which goes “Oh my sweet lord, its Rammstein” has sparked this speculation. We in CKT feel that these strings of events just like the SKS Mysurpa will linger for some time.

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